Is it just me, or has entertainment in recent years been really sucking? Specifically, I'm talking about American entertainment, and its movies, music, and television in particular. Now I'm not one those people who bashes the younger generation's scene just for the sake of it. I consider myself pretty open-minded, and willing to give just about anything a shot. But something's gone amiss recently, and I can't quite put my finger on it. I'm finding it extremely difficult to find anything that's even half-way decent. In short, almost everything really, really sucks. Now, why is that?

I have a few rambling thoughts on the matter.

First of all, I'm not that old, and I readily concede that a lot of the stuff I grew up with definitely sucked. I was weened on MTV and crap 70's and 80's television, so I know it ain't always been good. But something's going on today that makes me think we've moved on to a whole new level of suckiness. I mean, the sheer volume of crap that's coming out of the entertainment business today is truly alarming. Case in point, Paula Abdul. Not to pick on poor Paula, but her story illustrates what I'm talking about. In the 80's, Ms. Abdul was a joke. Sure, the teeny-boppers who didn't no shit grooved to her music, but anyone with half a brain knew what the score was. This was manufactured crap for the crap masses. Now, in 2005, she's a bigger celebrity than before and, for some bizarre reason, she's considered talented and legitimate by the media. She even had her friggin' story done on A&E's Biography, like she's some kind of legend or something. Okay, she was a good cheerleader. But talented musically? Give me a break. Even Saturday Night Live, which hasn't been good in years, tried to give her the stamp of coolness by letting her poke fun at herself during the recent American Idol scandal. Of course, this shouldn't surprise anyone, as SNL's been a parody of itself since the end of the 70's. And since when did a show like American Idol get to be popular? I remember Star Search which, for all intents and purposes, is the same friggin' thing, and nobody watched it. Why? Because it was superficial crap. Nowadays, it's popular entertainment getting huge ratings. What the hell went wrong? It's like I fell asleep and woke up twenty years later and everything we considered uncool is now cool. Madonna is suddenly respectable. What?! Donald Trump is suddenly hip. When the hell did that happen? It's like a freakin' nightmare!

Okay, so what gives? How and when did we get to the point where Ozzy Osborne is pawned off as a family man in some lame reality TV show, and Kim Catrall and Nicollete Sheridan are considered serious actresses? How did we get to the point where really stupid TV shows like Charlie's Angels get re-made into blockbuster films? Since when is a show as patently unfunny as That 70's Show considered quality comedic entertainment? Admittedly, the decline has been coming for a long time. Ever since corporate America realized it could take a successful formula and package it to the masses, we've been subjected to an onslaught of mediocrity. But, at least in the beginning, the stuff being created was authentic. Maybe it wasn't slick, but there was something real about it. Now, everything's phony, pretentious, and way too self-aware. You know you're in trouble as a culture when everything created is derivative of itself.

Well, it's all caving in on itself, and I blame the corporate culture for the state of affairs. It seems the entertainment business has gone the way of the fast food and retail businesses. They've figured out a way to manufacture and market cheap and convenient crap for our consumption, and we're buying it. But I don't just blame the corporations. I blame the artists who work for them as well. I blame Steven Spielberg. When was the last time he made a decent movie. Okay, so we can't bag on Schindler's List, but other than that has he even tried since E.T.? And what of Scorsese? I love Scorsese, but he hasn't made shit since Goodfellas. Now everyone raves about The Sopranos, which is a cheap Scorsese knock-off if you ask me. Where the hell is Coppola? And don't even get me started on Lucas. The Star Wars prequels were all complete shit. Yes, Sith was shit. And I haven't even mentioned the greats that inspired these guys. Where are our great filmmakers? The Hitchcocks, the Welles', the Wilders, and on and on. They're in independent film, you say. Fuck that. Independent films suck. And I blame Tarantino and Kevin Smith. Where are today's Beatles, Led Zeppelins, Nirvanas, Twilight Zones? You know, I saw Roger Daltry peddling classic rock on some infomercial the other day. Is that what it's come to? An infomercial? We're all re-hashing yesterday because today sucks.

What we need is a revolution in the entertainment world, and it ain't coming from the marketing departments. It's gotta' come from the artists. The talented ones, not just those willing suck the corporation's dick in exchange for celebrity. And I mean those who've got real talent. You know who you are. It's time to stand up and take back what's rightfully yours.

Memo to all the "it" celebs of today: Your 15 minutes are up.